02. Your ego is dissolving
First, an energy check-in with the Nine of Swords—anxiety, sleepless nights, and vivid dreams. Whether it’s waking up at 3am or sleeping through alarms, your subconscious is disturbed, signalling big shifts. We're in a new era, and it's no surprise if the old ways of navigating life just aren't cutting it anymore.
Our ego is desperately trying to plan, control, and figure everything out. But, as I mention in this episode, the answers aren’t logical anymore. We’re being asked to tap into our intuitive side and allow parts of our ego to die—particularly the parts that resist this new way of being. It’s uncomfortable, and growth is gritty, but this process is vital to create space for your soul to expand and trust.
In this episode, I pull the Death card—symbolizing the ego's dissolution—and the King of Wands, reminding us that we don’t have to master everything right now. It’s about allowing space for your higher self to emerge, even when the ego is screaming for control.
I wrap up by reminding us all that trusting in divine timing isn’t about relying on external sources to deliver what we need. It’s about trusting ourselves to cope, to stay aligned, and to keep moving forward no matter what. The trust issues we face aren’t external—they’re within us.
Transcript
Hello. Welcome back to Sunflowers and Stars, intuitive Tarot for the collective with me, if you want to Fletcher Reid today, we are going to talk a little bit about how we can trust in divine timing. That is what the cards are inviting us to talk about today.
First of all, the energy check-in with where you are at the moment, we've got nine of swords. So some real heavy, depressed, anxious energy, you have been losing sleep. Even if you haven't been losing sleep, you've been your sleep has been disturbed by the subconscious. So perhaps you're having vivid dreams. You're waking up at 3am when normally you sleep right through perhaps you're sleeping through your alarm, or you're, you know, you set your alarm and it just doesn't go off.
There's definitely some sleep disturbance going on here related to the subconscious, and like when you are trying to invite and trying to create something new, and this is what we're all doing right now. So it's just so clear to me and everyone that I speak to, even the people who don't know it's happening because they're resisting it or they're denying it, like we're just we're moving into a new era. And there's a real human, very human desire to want to know what that looks like, to want to figure out the step-by-step plan, the exact dates, when is this going to happen? When is my life going to be better? When am I going to feel okay? This is what this is what the brain does. The brain wants to find a way through. The brain wants to find a solution. But at the moment, it's an overdrive. It's now like every coping mechanism.
At some point becomes your downfall, because you continue to demonstrate the coping mechanism when there's when it's actually no longer effective. So just shout out to you, if you are trying your damnedest with your brain to try and figure out a way through and not really knowing how to figure it out. For this, the answers really are not logical, and that is something that is very hard to come to terms with. That the old way of figuring things out the way that you've been taught academically through your family, through the internet, you've been taught that there's a systematic, tried and tested way to do things. We're in a new era, and old tools, old approaches, old mindsets, are simply not going to work. They might work for some people and get limited results, but like we spoke about in the last episode, if you haven't listened, highly recommend you go back and listen to that. After this one, we talk about what it takes to balance our energies as we settle into this new elevated state of consciousness, and how learning to do that in a human body in a 3D reality that has rules and expectations is a challenge, and that is the challenge for us right now, is, how do we find new ways to manage these energies? And in the last episode, we dig into a bit about what those practical tools for staying connected to source might look like.
But today we're thinking about less about the practical things and more about the trust, the blind trust, and trust is a really difficult thing to conjure up when you don't have the evidence yet, and that's that's where a lot of the overthinking is coming from right now, is that you've got to this point by being scared, doing things and then getting proof that it's okay. We made it through, we did that, and you've used that evidence as a thing to boost your confidence, I think, to help you make decisions, make plans. And now, it might be very difficult for you to explain, but you feel as though the old ways of working just are no longer effective. You can't plan for the unplannable. How do you plan for something that you don't know what it's going to look like, and yet your brain is continuing to try and make that plan, because that's that's all it knows how to do. Thank you, brain. But unfortunately, we need to tap into a different part of our psyche, perhaps a part that we've never really given the time of day before, because we've always been like, no, we need proof. We need evidence. And now we need to tap into this intuitive part of us, and we need to start having a conversation with it. And the problem is that the ego, which is the part of your brain that is trying to plan, trying to find a solution, trying to logically think of how to navigate this new energy.
The ego knows that when it is no longer required, it will have to die, it will have to die away and no longer be of use. And this isn't to say that
you don't need your logical thinking. You definitely do. But the ego is made up of many parts, and some of those parts work very hard for years and years, and they get worn out, and they don't want to let go, they don't want to be put out to pasture. They don't want to no longer be of use, because they think that without them, you will not survive. But the truth is,
letting the ego, letting parts of your ego die away, letting old beliefs and old assumptions and old thinking patterns die away, is not you losing part of yourself, it's you recovering a part of yourself, because the ego fights for safety. The ego fights for you to stay small. The ego fights for you to stay out of harm's way, for you to not kick up any fuss, to not ask any questions. The ego wants you to stay and repeat the same things over and over, but we know that we don't want that. We know that we are moving into a new season of life that is going to be like unlike anything we've ever experienced before.
And so actually, for this, this part of the ego has to die. It is part of the process, but it may not feel comfortable. But as you probably know, growth is an ugly business. Growth is not seamless, smooth, elegant. Growth is gritty. Growth is messy. There may be bloodshed. There is a death. We pulled the Death card because part of your ego has to die. Part of your protection mechanism that wants to know all the answers, has to die. It has to die in order for a hopeful, trusting part of your soul to come into the light. So as the ego, that's part of the ego, dies, it dissolves and it creates a space. If you imagine your soul, your true self, has kind of been crammed into a space with your ego.
And as parts of your ego dissolve, it gives your soul space to breathe. This goes, OK, there's a little bit more space now I can I can breathe, I can take up space. I can be here as a fuller expression of myself. And part of that that's going to come is the ability to trust but this block that you're feeling right now is this little part of the ego.
And the more you resist, the more you try and find a solution, the more you try and overthink to compensate for not knowing, the more you are resisting.
So this part of the ego is going to dissolve as it's going to dissolve, and it's just your job to allow that to happen. It's your job to notice when it comes up. It's your job to notice the overthinking and bear in mind, sometimes when you're about to have a breakthrough, things get really hard. They get really hard, and they come up to be released. They come up to the surface. So these thoughts, this overthinking, perhaps you're going to feel anxious for the first time in years, this sleep disturbance is something that hasn't happened in many years, and all of a sudden it's been heightened. It's your job just to notice, to release any attachment to it, allow it to come up and to have its one final hurrah before it's released and dissolves to make space for your soul to unfurl just a little bit more.
One of the other blocks here is the King of Wands. You do not have to be the master of this new season of life. I think there are two things here. There's the craving to have a plan for what this is going to look like, and there's also this desire to be the best version of yourself before the opportunities arise, and while it's absolutely part of your journey to stay connected to source and to continue to grow and improve and evolve in order to meet those opportunities when they come up. There is a tendency to use that, to put yourself on such a pedestal that you then don't believe that you're capable of the version of yourself that you're imagining.
And so have that vision, have that vision of yourself, whatever that means to you, maybe it's that you you have a new home, you have a loving partner, you have a family, you have abundance, whatever that means to you and that you are at the top of your game. You're feeling calm, you're feeling free, you're feeling creative, and then just continue to talk to that version of you, continue to acknowledge that even though you don't feel like that person, you can still communicate to that version of you. You can see, Hey, how did you get this? How did you get there? What's What lessons did you learn? Who did you speak to? What obstacles did you overcome? What advice have you got for me?
You don't have to embody that version of you in order to bring them, bring them into reality, but you can communicate with them, so don't let this idealized version of you be the thing that stops you from trusting.
Because, if you've conjured up this version of you in your brain, it means that you believe it is possible, even if, right now you don't believe that. You believe that is possible. There is part of you, there's part of you, and that soul that does, and perhaps with a couple more fragments of the ego dissolved that little, that little part will pop out and go, Hey, we're ready to become this new version. It's all a process. So start with that vision, then
work backwards from there.
You know, if that's the best version of you, and five years from now, what does year four look like? What does year three look like? Year two, year one, work backwards and stay in the present, because we only have the now. Past doesn't exist. The future is not guaranteed. We only have the now. Do what you can and the now to stay connected to the source that will fuel the future version of you, and how we can trust, trust in divine timing, whether it's one year two year, three years, 20 years, we don't know. We just don't know.
And I've pulled the Two of Cups, and how we can trust, how to trust in the timing of life, really what we fear is I'm not going to get this thing that I want. I'm not going to get my dream job, I'm not going to get financial stability, I'm not going to get the family, the home that I'm dreaming of, and we fear that it's not going to come quick enough, and that is a survival fear. If that doesn't come quickly enough, I will be so overwhelmed with the sense of lack and the self of emotion, the negative emotion or the uncomfortable experience, I will be so overwhelmed that I will be unable to cope. That's the fear. That's the root fear, and that's why we don't want to trust because we think it might not happen. We can't trust we need it now.
Modern culture has made us think we need it now. We need it delivered on prime we need it here in 24 hours. So if that's the fear, the fear is that we are not able to cope, then we don't need to trust in the timing. We don't need to trust in the universe. We don't need to trust that everyone else is going to create the or that some external factor is going to create the conditions and deliver the thing that we need. The trust issue is with ourselves. The trust issue is, can I trust in my ability to cope whether it comes or not?
Can I trust in my ability to find the discipline required to make it happen? Can I trust in myself to stay connected to source, to channel the divine energy? Can I trust in my ability to stay in alignment when other people try and knock me off course, or when I'm triggered, or when I have a bad mental health day, or when I don't get my finances in order? Can I trust in my ability to stay in alignment no matter what happens externally?
Because in that we detach from the external goal. We detach from the need for an external source to solve our problems and make us feel safe, and we trust in our ability to save ourselves, we trust that I am source energy. I am the universe. No matter what happens. I trust in this moment I'm safe in this moment. I'm doing my best in this moment, I'm in perfect alignment, and when I'm not in alignment, I notice the triggers, and I'm able to come back to my path, even if other people don't understand, even if other people judge me.
I trust, I trust in my capacity to do that, and I trust in my ability to live through uncomfortable emotions and to live through uncomfortable periods in my life, that's where the trust comes from.
And of course, with that trust and with this wanting, desiring a certain energetic outcome or manifestation. We've talked about the blocks. We've talked about idolizing this perfect version of yourself that is capable or deserving. We've spoke about the block of the requiring part of the ego to die away and dissolve. But another block is that we need to be ready to receive.
And part of being ready to receive is that being in alignment. It's being in your perfect alignment that cannot be tainted by external forces. And when external forces try to cross your boundaries, try to seal your energy, this is not a failing. This is life. This is life you don't get into a state of receiving. And then, you know, it's not a switch. You don't flick the switch, and then be like, that's me done all the work on receiving. No. Life is a continual lesson. It's continually being prodded. It's continually being tested.
And so we've pulled the Queen of Swords and the queen of swords sits on her throne in alignment. She has her sword, she has her sword, which is her word, it's her communication, it's her truth. She holds it and she holds it firm. People may come and try and steal it from her. They may come and fight. She may get ill, she may fall asleep, but she's always got her sword here. She's always in alignment, and she's always cool, calm and ready for when those boundaries are tested.
And this is not about being defensive. You know, there's plenty of people that don't understand the way I live my life. There's I perceive plenty of judgments when I talk to friends, family, strangers, people who don't understand why I've not followed a linear path, a traditional path. I'm moving from self-employment to employment. People are like, Why on earth would you do that? When I left employment to be freelance, people were like, Why on earth would you do that? But there's always going to be people testing your energetic boundaries, and it's up to you to stay in alignment, and often that feels like defensiveness. It can come out as, Oh, I'm so angry that they don't get me. I'm so angry that they judge me. I'm so disappointed that they don't understand. But the Queen of Swords doesn't attach any emotion to this test of boundary. She just reinforces the boundary. She just says, okay, you don't have to understand me. I understand me.
I'm holding my sword and I'm in perfect alignment. Don't mean you any harm. You don't get me. That's fine. That is what protecting your energy is. It's having, it's having a bubble of self-assuredness that is so dense, so impenetrable, that not only can no one break the boundary, but you inspire other people. You have this glowing aura of I know who I am and what I was put here to do. I am sure in my decisions, even when I don't know the outcome, I trust that I am capable. I trust that I am in alignment, and when I'm connected to source, when I'm connected to source, and I'm acting in alignment, there can be no mistakes, there can be no errors. As long as I'm in alignment with my highest self, then I trust.
If I'm acting out of alignment, and I feel gross when I do something, I feel like I'm putting on a mask. I feel like I've had to abandon parts of myself to get this goal. Yeah, I've got the goal, but at what cost? But when you work towards a goal from a place of alignment, from a place of peace, place of detachment from the outcome, because you trust in your ability to cope, to survive, to thrive, no matter what the outcome, then not only will you come to the outcome that is designed for you, but you will have enjoyed the process.
It may have been challenging, but you will have been in flow the whole time. You will not have abandoned yourself to get there. So you will not have lost anything. You've maintained your whole self.
So that's the current energy that we are working with right now. Like I said, go back and listen to the last episode to get caught up, no matter when you're hearing this reading, it is timeless. Time is fluid. This is coming to you at the right time that you need to hear it, even if it doesn't resonate with you in a month from now, in a year from now, you might have this vision of the Queen of Swords, and be like, Okay, I get it.
That's all from me this week. If you have enjoyed this podcast episode, please feel free to leave me a review. Helps loads. Let me know if you like it and what kind of stuff you'd like to see in the future. And if you're looking for something to supercharge your meditation in your journaling practice, I've got a free download that you can access. I'll link it in the show notes. It's a pre journal and meditation that gets you into the right headspace, gets you into that queen of swords alignment mod so that you can journal and figure out where you're going to go next. Connect with source. Connect with that soul that we are allowing to come to the forefront.
Okay, love you. Talk to you soon. Bye.
Fiona x
