03. Healing is (y)our resistance

Hey friends,

In today’s episode, we talk about the fiery energy many of you are feeling right now. It’s a spark that’s been reignited, a motivation you’ve been waiting for—and it’s here to stay, for now. But remember, healing is a journey, not a destination, and today's reading explores that in depth.

You’ll hear about:

- Tapping into this powerful, warrior-like energy with the Ace of Wands.

- Understanding healing as a gritty process

- How healing can serve as resistance

- How to prevent burnout on your healing journey.

- Enjoying the forward motion but preparing for the inevitable slowdown.

I also pulled the Hermit card to explore why oppressive systems resist our healing and how embracing our individual journey contributes to collective liberation.

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I use the Queer Tarot Deck by Ash & Chess

Transcript:

Hi, welcome back to the Sunflowers and Stars podcast. I want to start off by saying thank you so much for all your love and your feedback on the first few episodes. Because I just, I'm just not I just have a lot of self-doubt when it comes to this stuff. You know, for almost 40 years, spirituality has not been a part of my life, and then all of a sudden it is… So there's a lot of unlearning to be done on my end of things, and just to let you know that all your lovely feedback and saying, that things resonate and that they ring true for you, it's just really validating for me and that that is actually strengthening the quality of the podcast for all of us, because as much as I am working to tune into my own frequency and to trust that that is true and that is worthy of expression, it still really helps for me to get that feedback. So thank you. Thank you so much.

And also want to say thank you to my friend Hannah, who gave me this mic that I'm using I put out to the universe that I needed a podcast mic, and she showed up and gave me for free. So thank you so much, Hannah. Hannah also taught me tarot, so she really she has contributed a lot to this podcast. Thank you, Hannah.

And also wanted to say thank you to Lucy Lucraft, who has been helping me. She's been mentoring me through this podcast launch period. So thank you so much to her for being on WhatsApp and answering all my tech questions and listening to all my rambles. She's contributed a lot to this podcast too, and actually, she's helped me come up with an idea. I have been wanting to do some extra podcast episodes when I have the capacity, and also to make it, make it a true, energetic exchange between those who want to. I know there are people who really like to pay for content and they really like to support their favourite creators. So if that's you, then you might want to join my Patreon. It will be linked in the show notes. And Lucy helped me come up with this idea. So as soon as I get to 10 members on Patreon, I am going to that's when I'm going to launch my bonus episodes, my first bonus episode, and that will go out to everyone who has signed up as a Patreon member, there will still be, still be at least two episodes a month for free. You won't be missing out on anything in particular. But if you are just finding that two episodes is not enough and you want some more content, then sign up. Or if you just like to support your favorite creators, then feel free to sign up. There's actually already a lot of content on my Patreon from when I launched it a couple of years ago. So there's already some guided meditations on there. There's some there's some video workshops around working with the moon cycles. There's some journal prompts. As you know, I have facilitated lots of writing groups over the years, so there's some journal prompts in there as well. So if you're just looking for some extra spiritual content, then you'll find lots of stuff in there.

But let's get stuck into today's reading. Let's talk about the current energies you are. You're feeling so motivated at the moment. It's really, it feels like a real fiery energy. It feels, but it's, it's, it feels like it's not a fire that's raging out of control. It's a fire within you that that I think you almost forgot could exist like you've spent so much time trying to find that spark, trying to find that motivation, trying to find that lust for life. It's like, it's like you've been looking at a plan. You've got a step-by-step plan that you really you're like, I know these things help. I know these things make me feel better. I know these are things that I want to invest my time in, but I just can't it's like there's this invisible force field has been around you, and it's been lifted, and it's it's like this big waft of air has come into your space, and the little spark that you thought had disappeared has gone. It's gone like, Hey, I'm here. I've been burning the whole time, and I just needed that little push, and now I'm here, and I'm burning and I'm excited and I'm motivated, and I'm ready to be disciplined. I'm ready to get stuck in I wanted to talk about healing today. Healing is a process. To be healed means tbat we've gone through the process of healing. Okay? So when a wound is healed, we look at it, we go, oh, look, my wound is healed. No more pain, no more tending to the wound, no more discomfort. It's happened. But the healing process, I think, because we're moving towards healed as a seeing that as a positive state.

We think when we're healing, oh, it should all be lovingly. It's not. The healing process is grit. The healing process is blood, sweat and tears. And this, this fiery energy that's coming through with the ace of wands card, which I just pulled, this fire that's coming through is really using I'm now ready and willing to go through the blood, sweat and tears. I spent too much time, or not too much time, but I spent, I've had a season of pulling back, of looking inward, all this, all necessary stuff. You've had this period of looking inward, maybe having a lone time, and really being too raw to even consider going through the healing process, to look at your trauma, to look at your your triggers, your unhelpful coping mechanisms. Now, the energy now is like warrior vibes. You're like, Let's go like, you've put the war paint on, and you're like, ah, ready. I'm ready for change.

When we talk about healing as resistance, that is such a, that can be such a beautiful energy. It can be such a it's like, you know, you know that you want liberation for all. You know that you want freedom for yourself and others. That you've gone from this helpless, helpless vibration of wow, the world is falling apart. The world is crumbling. Horrible things are happening. How can this be? How can I exist in this world, it's just too much, and you're beginning the journey of choosing not to buy into that narrative.

You're going through the process, beginning the process of alchemizing that dark energy and alchemizing it into a new world. This is you running into that battle because you're like, we deserve better. The world deserves better. There can be a better world. There can be a different outcome for yourself as an individual and for all of us as a collective, when we think about you moving on this healing journey, it can be really inspiring to have this burst of energy, to have this boost, to feel like, yes, you're you know, you're going through your diary, you're slotting in your therapy sessions. You're doing your skincare every night, doing your shadow work, turning down date nights to sit and meditate or romanticize time alone with yourself, like you're being really putting all of your energy into this healing. And that is a really great part of the process.

That's a really nice stage to be in that gets kind of like a beginner's mindset. It's like you've you've realized, Oh, nobody else is going to come and do this for me. I have to do it. I have to make the changes. I have to do the work. I have to find the support. I have to make the time. I guess some of the obstacles that we're looking at as we pull the cards here, I've pulled temperance.

Temperance is all about it's about two things, really. It's about balance and it's about allowing for the universe to take the wheel. Sometimes, if we're looking at the obstacles that that that card signifies, there's an invitation here to ensure that you do not burn out on your healing journey. Yes, enjoy this burst, enjoy this newfound enthusiasm for healing practices and for spotting your triggers and setting boundaries and doing all this stuff that you're like, Yes, like this, I can I can feel that I'm healing like I can feel when you meditate. You might feel pins and needles in your third eye, you might start to feel like that could be a sign that your that your intuition is becoming stronger. You're healing those blocks.

You're healing that conditioning that taught you not to listen to your intuition. You might be able to feel yourself standing more confidently in meetings. You might feel yourself talking back to people in a way that six months ago you would have, you would have said, Oh no, I can't do that. Got to be the good girl, like we spoke about, I think, in episode two, about being the good girl, being the good wife, being the good sister, you can feel yourself breaking out of that mold you.

All that to say, healing comes in waves. It's, it's not, first of all, it's not a one and done. You're not, you're not going to do all this stuff that you've scheduled in your diary, and then in six months, be like, I'm healed. No, it's a journey of a lifetime. And healing comes in cycles. So you're in this beautiful phase where everything feels there's an energy of forward motion Temperance is asking you to prepare for when that forward motion starts to slow down. Imagine it as like a train. It's at the moment, it's just taken off, and it's chugging towards its first stop. It's going through nothing's going to stop it. It's chug, chug, chugging away at some point it's going to slow down and it's going to stop. And so Temperance is the invitation for you to mentally prepare for when that happens. And that doesn't mean, you know, scheduling more things. It actually means preparing yourself to pull back and so I wouldn't, I wouldn't take on too much at this point. If you are focused on this healing journey, don't over-schedule yourself with other commitments. Don't over, over schedule yourself with because this work, this healing work, it can be really empowering, but it can also be really draining.

So you might find that as you begin to heal, emotionally, spiritually, other areas of your life start to suffer. You might feel like some of your friendships, your relationships, or your relationship to work, to hobbies, to pastimes that you used to enjoy starts to feel a little bit uncomfortable, and it can be a real it can be really hard to contend with, because on one hand, you feel in alignment. You feel spiritually whole. You can feel parts of your soul coming back to you. You can feel a sense of peace that you've never felt before, and then yet, when you step into some spaces or you speak to some people, it doesn't feel right. It's just the physical world catching up to your internal world. And so being faced with parts of your life that don't match up to your inner growth, that can be in itself, even though it's a natural byproduct of spiritual evolution, that in itself can be difficult to deal with. And so you might find that you naturally come to a halt, and that's okay, that we don't need to be in this spiritual evolution like and you might have a spike of spiritual growth where you start to feel, Oh, I feel really in alignment. I feel really strong. I feel really open. I feel like I'm receiving downloads. I feel like I can predict things, I feel like everything's falling into place, and then you have a period where it is the complete opposite. And everything feels hard. Sometimes we need that. Sometimes we need that obstacle to give us a little bit of a break, to allow us to assimilate all the internal shifts that have happened, because this is energy work is intense.

I just did my level one Reiki course. That was a day course. And you know, Reiki is really peaceful. It's supposed to charge you up as the practitioner as well as the person that you're treating, I felt really drained at the end of the day. I think learning to manage New Energy, learning to manage a higher frequency and a physical body, is actually very difficult.

In my experience, the obstacle here you might not even it might not be coming soon. It might be in a few weeks, maybe in a few months, but for some reason, this, this message, is what had to come through today. And this is to warn you. This is to say this is amazing that you're in this space. Enjoy it. Be aware that it will end soon. It will slow down. But for now, enjoy it. Write down everything that is happening. Write down all your synchronicities. If you need journal prompts, you can get them in my Patreon. If, if that's something that you feel called to do, take photos. Capture this part of your journey, so that in a few months from now, when things slow down and you may feel a bit of a slump. You know that it's not going to be forever.

And the other side of Temperance is this idea that you have, you have guides, you have angels, you have essentially Spirits working for you from beyond the veil. And that's. To say, whatever, whatever this journey is that you're on. And for some of you, it might, it might not be a spiritual journey. It might be that you're on a new creative path, which has an undercurrent of you stepping into your true self, which, for me, is a spiritual thing. It might be that you're building something you're building something new, a new passion project, that you've got a new relationship that's full of passion and excitement, and it's really challenging you to try new things and grow as a person.

But Temperance is telling us that you are not the only person who controls the outcomes of your life. We want to believe that we can control how our life goes, and we do have power. We have so much more power than we realize, but there are limits to our powers on this earth, and that's why we have spirits from beyond the veil that are able to move things around, send opportunities our way, remove blocks from our path.

You know, I got my dream job this year after nine months of applying for many, many, many other jobs that didn't feel like my dream job, and every rejection I got, every failed interview, felt really hard. It really felt like I was being beaten down, like my self esteem was taking a hit. I was like, how how am I going to pay the bills? How am I going to rebuild my life? I really didn't know what the future held. I certainly didn't think it held this job in my future, but things were working out of my control. A job came up in a place that I have never seen a vacancy in before, and it's my It's the dream place for me to work. But that took time. That took time for the person that I'm replacing to go on maternity leave, like all these things, had to come into play. Had to fall into place. I had a physical injury earlier than in the year, and had this job opportunity come up a month or two before I would not have been physically fit enough to travel to London for the interview because of my ankle injury.

So as much as you've got this burning passion at the moment for this new phase of your life or this new project. It's a reminder that you have limits and that this journey will have highs and lows. But not to be disheartened, because you don't have to do it alone. You have Spirits working for you from beyond the veil, and they are working like a little chess, like a chessboard, moving pieces around, guiding you in the right direction.

And guess what? It probably won't happen on your timeline. It probably won't happen in the way that you think it's going to happen, but it will happen for the highest good for all. I mentioned a little bit about this idea as healing as resistance, and I asked the cards, why don't the oppressive systems, you know, the systems that we are resistant against, like patriarchy, colonialism, white supremacy, why do they not want us to heal? Why, you know, why on earth would they want that? Why? Why is healing so important? And I pulled the Hermit card, which really signifies this idea of individualism.

For those of you who know, I have worked in the mental health space as a as a writer, for many years, and the narrative around mental health has become, certainly destigmatized. We talk about it a lot more in the media and newspapers. It's really become kind of commonplace to talk about, you know, quote, unquote, taking care of your mental health, having a mental health day, doing your self-care.

I've done a lot of, I guess, kind of reflecting over the last few months about how potentially, that narrative hasn't necessarily been in everyone's best interest, because the more that we normalize mental illness, the more we give those oppressive systems permission to continue to make us mentally ill, normalizing depression, anxiety, PTSD, whatever it is, a lot of these are not all of them, but many of these conditions are born out of humans living in a system that is incredibly oppressive. It's harmful to our mental health. It's pushing us to burn out. It's pushing us to the brink.

Capitalism means that we can't stop we have to keep going because it costs us to eat. It costs us to get health care. Are to just have a roof over our heads. So when we normalize this idea of having a mental illness, I worry that we are given systems of oppression, permission to continue to make us mentally ill, and a lot of the narrative around treating mental health communicated through this individual lens of you must take care of your own mental health. It is your sole responsibility. Essentially gives the leaders in our government a free pass because they keep putting it back onto the individual you know, why haven't you done your self-care? Why haven't you got your eight hours sleep a night? Why haven't you got your 10,000 steps a day? Why haven't you found a better work life balance? Why haven't you been doing your positive affirmations?

And even as a writer, so much of the content that we write is for the individual, given tips on how the individual can improve their mental health, and yes, we all need to take responsibility for our own experience, but there's also a collective responsibility, and the more that we continue to put the responsibility on the individual, the more our leaders get off scot free without stepping in, because we all have a responsibility to each other. We're all connected. We're all part of the same community. We're all humans, but yet we see it every day. I do it too. I walk past homeless people on the street, and I think where someone would help them. How did we get to this place where all we can do now is look out for the individual? We always just look out for ourselves. That's not the way it's supposed to be.

The reason that our leaders want to keep it that way is because they know that when we realize we're stronger together. That will be the start of their downfall as we begin to realize that we have a collective power when we heal ourselves. We heal our need to fit into societal norms, when we heal our need to overconsume when we heal our need for substance abuse. When we heal our obsession with fear and lack and scarcity, we become so powerful that the oppressors will ultimately be not off their pedestal, out of power. And so that's what I mean when I talk about healing as resistance. We heal the individual we hear, heal ourselves. We begin to join up. We all become more powerful, and we begin to join up, and we begin to rise up.

But I also don't want you to think that healing is just one person's responsibility. That's why we're here together. That's why I'm doing collective readings, because it's really important to me that we gather together. Even though this is recorded, we are all gathering together to connect to this energy, to absorb this information, to think about where we fit into society and how we can help. This is our collective energy, and when we tap into that, we become a force.

And one of the most important things about healing as a form of resistance is that we become a physical manifestation of what other people can achieve. We become an example of overcoming obstacles, we put out a higher vibration that attracts people who also want that higher vibration. They see how we've healed. They see how we and I say healed. They see how we are healing. One part might be healed, but there's always another part healing. But as we continue to heal these parts of ourselves, it's like we're it's like we become so abundant with healing energy that we begin to heal others just by our presence. And that's because when we peel back social conditioning and we say, I'm not going to, I'm not going to live my life the way the oppressors think I should. I'm going to live my life in the way that's right for me, that emits an energetic frequency that other people cannot ignore.

Yeah, you will annoy some people. Some people will think, Why do you get to live your life like that. That's not the way I was brought up to live my life. Yeah, other people won't get it, and other people will be so inspired by the way you live your life that they'll take on some of that energy like it just radiates toward them, and they think, maybe I can, maybe I can do that. Yeah. Be I can speak up in my meeting. Maybe I can set a boundary at work. Maybe I can call out those microaggressions that I saw in the in my book club. Maybe I can start to speak to a more diverse range of people in my marketing. The way that you continue to heal, please make no mistake that has a ripple effect on the collective whether you want it to or not. It does. It really makes a difference.

I pulled quite a lot of Wands in this reading, which is really interesting, because it's there's so much passion and creativity in those in those ones that when we think about healing, quite often, we think about stillness, we think about we might think about the cups because the cups are about emotions. Or we even might think about swords because that's kind of about mental mental health, mental clarity. But I think it's really interesting that we pulled wands because in healing, we are partaking in a creative act, in our pursuit to examine our wounds, to think about ancestral healing or letting go of the toxic people don't bring us any joy when we look At building better habits or letting go of things like substance abuse. It can feel very much like we're wiping things away, or that we're pushing things away, but actually what we're doing is we're creating the new and letting go.

You are creating brand new timelines for yourself, because if you drink three glasses of wine every night as a way to cope, that puts certain that puts a certain kind of energy into your life, probably gives you a bit of a hangover. It affects how much spare time you've got, how much money you spend puts certain limitations on your life. And I'm not saying that three glasses of wine is bad, that's just an example. If you decide to give up that wine as part of this healing process that you are going through, you've automatically created a completely new environment for yourself. You're going to be moving in New Energy.

I'm not saying it's good or bad, but you will have shifted the energy in your home, in your physical space, in your mind and your body and your gut and your soul. There are so many parts of you that are now moving at a different speed, at a different frequency, and that undoubtedly moves you into a new timeline, because if you'd kept drinking the three glasses of wine, that would have affected the path you were on, and then when you stop, you start on a new path. And that is why we've pulled so many wands, is because the healing path is creating a new future for yourself, and in doing that, as we spoke about creating a new future for yourself, building a new life, building essentially a kind of new persona based on this healing because you're letting go of the old and inviting in the new again, this has this ripple effect on humanity. So not only are you creating a new world for yourself, but you are creating a whole new world for the collective, because people see how you live your life, and everyone you come into contact with, everyone that you speak to, you work with, you communicate with, they're all touched by your energy, and that's how we create a new world.

And before we go, there's one meditation in the Patreon that I think might help with this. It's called the wise women meditation. It is quite deep work. So I would definitely if you have resonated with feeling like you're in this really highly motivated state, you're in a positive frame of mind, and you're feeling really open to doing some deep healing work, then I think that may that might be of interest to you, invite you to look back on the past and all the meditations are me. By the way, it's my voice. So if you like this voice, this voice, then hopefully you'll like the meditations. Okay, thank you so much for listening. Really grateful, as always, to have you tuning in and listening to the next episode we're going to be talking about finding your power, I just made a note of that because I felt like that was something that I really wanted to speak about. So when I record it, we'll tap and see what the energy is doing. Reminder, if you want to help me get to 10 Patreon subscribers. You can do that via the link in the show notes, and when I get to 10 members, I'm going to drop a bonus episode for the Patreon squad.

Okay, thank you so much for listening.

Love you, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Fiona x